By:- LeRoy Webb

       Poetry Editor: "Pogonip the eZine"



Bitterroot Mountains, Early Spring


Crystals melt into a bead of water
the droplet tearing itself free
slides slowly down my ankle,
colder than the snow that spawned it.
Pogonip grips the air, creating
frozen fog-crystals that gleam and sparkle,
as they dance-float down, up, around,
blending into a thin veneer
of frozen, slick glass, glazing
surfaces, twigs, branches,
rocks, thoughts.
Breath, floating, thickens,
forming a ghostly vapor, so that
I walk with a frozen fog-cloud
eyelashes, mustache, beard crystallized,
a sparkle-headed, grim fog-ghost.
Snow is crusted over, thick enough 
to cut blocks from it,
and where I do not crunch through it,
I stand upon the Pogonip ice crust,
and walk like a very old man.
Thick ragged gray dome
surrounds a smooth white carpeted world.
Tree limbs no longer spread to the sun, but
droop, saddened by twinkling ice,
cracking and popping as though in the hearth,
but not of warmth
snapping, from the heavy purity of cold.
I would scream, not to be heard,
to relive the tense, quiet ominousness,
but I fear the sound
would surround me,
and solidify,
so that I would hear it wherever I looked, or
perhaps it would shatter
this crystal world
and I, and all about me,
would dance-float like crystal shards
in a gray abyss.

Copyright © --LeRoy Webb 2000

LeRoy Webb- Is Poetry Editor of "Pogonip- the eZine"
And a fine poet in his own right, to read more of LeRoys works, and other fine poets-
I strongly recommend you visit -Pogonip the eZine- the url is attached below.

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Comments: You capture the winter essence of the Bitterroots.
The reader gets a chilly sense of place.
A minor point of contention could be the anthropomorphic use of "saddened" in line 25--"pressed" might work as well.
Very enjoyable.

Name: Donald Somersett
EMail: Witman@prodigy.net



Comments: Yes, I have to agree with Donald about "saddened;
and I would have gone with "weighted" instead of "saddened".
This is an excellent job all in all, and the use of descriptive imagery is exceptionally a propos.
Great job on this one.

Name: RhymeMaster
EMail: rhymer01@thewritersnook.com



Comments: Must be my month for swimming against the tide.
I think 'saddened' works beautifully.
It carries an emotional weight which is totally different to that of either 'pressed' or 'weighted' and its anthropomorphicness
(if there isn't such a word there should be :-) serves to underscore the involvement of the poet's emotions.
But probably more importantly 'saddened' sets up a potent contrast with 'twinkling'.
The concept of being saddened by twinkling opens up whole new emotional areas to explore.

The poem is vibrant with the sense of waiting, of apprehension, of fear of change.
I like it a lot (or had you figured that out already :-)

Dennis



Comments: Yes, Dennis has some good points.
I still have reservations about the anthropomorphic imagery of 'saddened' there,
but it does evoke other things which are interesting in their own way. I too like this a lot.

Name: RhymeMaster
EMail: rhymer01@thewritersnook.com



Comments: Anthropomorphic imagery of "Saddend"
weeee..
I see it...
what the problem?

Name: The Quillpoet
EMail: The Quill@prodigy.net



Comments: What's wrong with anthropomorphism? Leave it as it is, Le Roy!!

Name: Rob
EMail: walker5@one.net.au



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