By: Ed Allen
State: Nevada
Country: USA
ODE TO AN OTIS ESCALATOR
Oh you band of steel and rubber
Carrying countless tons of blubber
Everyday you move your load
Along the same old weary road
The sign reads up and up you go
Sometimes I bet you're wishing though
That through some strange mysterious force
You could change your passive course
Perhaps go down or maybe sideways
And leave behind your hampering guideways
To you my sympathy I extend
And hope you find a means to end
This tyranny that stifles breath
I too could profit from its' death
Copyright © Ed Allen 1996
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Comments: I like this one, Ed,
however, if you changed "through" to "by" in line 7 and dropped the initial "And" in line ten,
the meter would be smoothed out a little and the poem would scan better.
I would also change "my" to "all" in line eleven, which makes the line read more like standard English.
That way it doesn't seem so much like an inverted sentence, designed to put the rhyme word at the end.
You don't need that apostrophe after "its" in the final line.
You have done a good job developing the humour in the poem, too. What is an "Otis" escalator? I have never heard that term before.
Name: RhymeMaster
EMail: rhymer01@thewritersnook.com
Comments: hnmmmmm... Maybe a plot for a new Stephen King Novel `In the Belly of the Elevator`... very clever Ed!
Name: phattkat
EMail: phattkat@excite.com
Comments: Ah! Ed, you have captured the imagination in this verse, and such dry wit. I really enjoyed this poem.
At least once a week I ride in or on an Otis Elevator/Escalator. I hope they never go sideways, though. Thanks for sharing.
Name: ZZ
EMail: veemer@aol.com
Comments: Now when I board an elevator, I look for the name Otis stamped someplace on it. Your poem really pushed the idea.
Now I am not so bored when I ride one. But my attention does not wander when riding the escalator. I pay attention.
Gripping the rails I ride to balance in case it turns sideways. Gotta' play it safe. Heeheee! The poem evokes.
Name: ZOIEZWE
EMail: veemer@aol.com
Comments: Eddy Spaghetti-
Watch those sudden stops- hehehehe loved it!
Name: Val Magnuson
EMail: valmag@prodigy.net
Comments: I like this Ed..
Reminds me of someone I know..
Name: The Quill poet
Comments: I agree with RhymeMaster's comments, but I do like this one. Of course, I'm partial to your poetry!
Name: Stephanie Allen
EMail: proofqueen@prodigy.net
Comments: It seems that my scant knowledge of escalators and elevators shows me up as a bumpkin. I normally don't ride them.
I doubt I have been on an elevator in 30 years, and an escalator seldom.
I don't frequent large department stores or large office buildings where such things are to be found.
Name: RhymeMaster
EMail: rhymer01@thewritersnook.com
Comments: This poem so facinated me that I went Online to find information on the Otis Elevator, and to answer the Rhymer's question:
Otis Elevator Company; Otis sells, manufactures and installs over 33,000 elevators and escalators annually,
and its mechanics and agent representatives
maintain in excess of 700,000 elevators and escalators in virtually every country of the world.
Ed! I too, enjoyed this poem, and your voice rings through with witticism.
Name: MLVS
EMail: pinderpoe@aol.com
Comments: SCHINDLER'S LIFT
Ode to an Elevator
(for Ed Allen.)
Oh steely cage, Oh stainless vault
I understand it's not your fault
That you reflect vicissitudes,
(It's really quite a pisser, dudes.)
While escalators climb obliquely
You move erratically and meekly
In fits and starts on cable sinuous
While Ed perambulates continuous
Your cargo views the Shopping Mall
While mine stares blankly at the wall.
While shoppers set their own sweet pace,
Office workers keep their place.
The escalated reach new heights
The lift ones stare at numbered lights.
A Power failure prompts 'Farewell'
- My Heart prefers the old stairwell.
Rob Walker,
May 2000
Great poem, Ed. I hope you see this poem more as a tribute than a sendup!
Name: Rob Walker
EMail: walker5@one.net.au
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